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Here’s the truth: Other people’s drama is making you fat.
You’re a good person. You feel for other people’s troubles and challenges. Heck, you’re probably the go-to person for a whole list of people when the going gets tough!
But is your caring nature keeping you out of the best shape of your life?
Break the cycle and be the loving person you are—without letting other people’s drama keep you from being a hot mamma!
Weight Loss for People Who Feel Too Much focuses on the keys to weight loss for sensitive people. With a simple, practical program, bestselling author and internationally renowned intuitive counselor Colette Baron-Reid shows you how to release the extra pounds and create a new, healthy relationship with your body, your weight, and food.
This 4-step, 8-week program will show you how to finally let go of what’s weighing you down, physically and emotionally. You will learn how to:
• Reverse empathy overload and establish healthy boundaries
• Avoid the “noisy” trigger foods that lead to autopilot eating
• Deal with challenging situations and avoid your detours, from procrastination to perfectionism, that sabotage the success you deserve
This book is your guide to having a new healthy, loving relationship with your food and your feelings. It’s the end to other people’s drama—and the beginning to the body (and life) you deserve!
From the Hardcover edition.
- Sales Rank: #2003044 in Books
- Published on: 2013-01-01
- Released on: 2013-01-01
- Formats: Audiobook, Unabridged
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 8
- Dimensions: 5.87" h x 1.15" w x 5.09" l, .54 pounds
- Running time: 600 minutes
- Binding: Audio CD
Review
"I have personally consulted with Colette and find her to be 100% credible."
- Dr. Wayne Dyer, New York Times bestselling author of Excuses Begone! and Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life
"This book can benefit all those who have ever turned to food to cope with the confusing, distressing, or troubling emotions swirling around you. This accessible guide will offer ways to take control of your weight and your relationship with food and offers a down-to-earth plan that will improve your life and your waistline"
- Judith Orloff, M.D., author of Emotional Freedom
"Based on advances in frontier science, Colette Baron-Reid provides a detailed step-by-step process to finally manage physical and emotional weight issues. Regain control over your health and life. . . . read this book."
- Dr. Bruce Lipton, cell biologist and bestselling author of The Biology of Belief Belief and coauthor of Spontaneous Evolution
"Colette Baron-Reid has created a unique method to successfully address the mind / body connection of highly sensitive people with weight issues For anyone who has struggled with their weight and their emotions this book is for you!".
- Dr. Darren Weissman, Ph.D., bestselling author of Infinite Love and Gratitude and creator of The Life Life Technique®
From the Author
Excerpt. © Feeling Too Much: The Hidden Thread
I don't remember what was causing the tension to swirl through our house like the winds of autumn, sending emotional debris spinning through the air with such intensity that it seemed to smack up against me. What I do remember was what I felt like: confused and unsafe, as if the stories I could sense on the outside somehow got inside of me. I was helplessly floating in the chaos that surrounded and penetrated me. I was only four years old, but I remember the experience vividly.
I had to have relief. Make it stop! I had to close myself off, ground myself in my body, in Colette.
I knew just what to do. I picked up a cooking spoon that had sticky raw cake dough on it, and as soon as I put it in my mouth, I felt calm. Now, that feeling didn't last, but it was very powerful. I had already discovered the connection between food and self-soothing. The fear melted away as the gooey, sweet mess on that spoon dissolved in my mouth and slid down my throat. I was "home," in a safe place where that icky feeling of something being very wrong couldn't get inside me again. That sense of physicality as the cake dough entered my body gave me a sense of substance. It made me feel whole, and secure.
It would be years before I understood this experience or its significance, but when I finally did, everything changed. I realized that the missing piece in the puzzle of my baffling relationship to food, eating, and weight was empathy. I was a person who felt too much, and I was using food to detour away from the awful feeling of not knowing where I ended and others began.
Food sealed my porous boundaries where other people's energy invaded me, and it allowed me to feel present in myself. I needed that quiet and calm, but I had to find a better way to achieve it. This revelation ended an exhausting war with food and my weight and began a new chapter for me. While I'm not a size 2, and I can't claim to have the figure of a 20-year-old high-fashion model, most of the time I'm at peace with my body and myself. That alone is an incredible feat, given how much I have struggled with all of this over the years.
It was this missing piece of feeling too much that allowed me to stop beating myself up (which, as it turns out, is counterproductive when trying to lose weight, as you'll learn later in this book). Once I did that, I started to better understand the many influences on those formerly dysfunctional relationships between myself, food, and my body. I was able to address those influences, too--but it all began with understanding why I was feeling too much and why fear and frustration were making me fat.
Porous Boundaries
A person who feels too much often senses the need to eat because her experience of the world is too much for her. It's not that she simply loves the taste, texture, smell, and sight of food, which provides a sensory experience. It's not that she's experiencing hunger pangs, or even that she's addicted to food, although that may be. Diets don't work for her because they don't address her powerful need to feel grounded in herself,separated from the confusing, distressing emotional turbulence around her. Food serves that purpose.
The stress of remaining in the moment, without knowing what you are sensing and how to be separate from it, is deeply discombobulating for someone who feels too much. The pain and discomfort are intolerable, and you will do anything to escape.
If you're highly sensitive and empathetic, that has a profound influence on your weight, as well as your thought processes and your moods, which affect your eating habits and your relationships with others. I'm sure you know all about emotional eating, but you've probably never considered what empathetic eating is, too. There is a subtle yet profound difference between the two. An example of emotional eating would be feeling so uncomfortable after a conflict with a coworker that you reach for the stash of mini candy bars you keep in your desk drawer to calm your anger and embarrassment.
However, let's say that it's not you who was in conflict with someone at work but two people in another department. You walk into the meeting room where they just had a heated argument and you feel the tension in the air. You're unsettled and uncomfortable and have no clue why. As other coworkers file into the meeting room, you have a compelling urge to sneak back to your office and grab some candy bars. You start feeling defensive and on alert, and you can't understand why. All you know is that you want those mini chocolates right now. That's empathetic eating.
Emotional eating and empathetic eating often occur at the same time. Let's say you're about to leave for work and you're feeling particularly vulnerable because you woke up, weighed yourself, and were embarrassed and ashamed by the number on the scale. You drive to work and feel frustrated, anxious, and angry that other cars aren't allowing you to merge. Then you walk into the meeting room where tension hangs in the air and you suddenly realize there's a ball of confusing emotions rolling around inside you and you have no idea how to sort it out. Visions of doughnuts dance in your head. Your emotions are difficult enough to deal with, but now you've taken on the emotions of others and added them to the mix. You've done this because you're highly sensitive and empathetic, and other people's emotions flood into you through your porous boundaries.
You probably don't realize when you're taking on someone else's emotions that you're experiencing feelings that aren't yours. Thoughts don't enter your mind when you're deeply upset and feeling ungrounded. You just feel discombobulated, or upset. You can't put your finger on what you're really feeling. You don't say, "Hey there, self. Bob's anger has entered you and you're tuned in to him!" All you know is that you have to have that salty, sugary, fatty treat now.
I know what this is like because I have felt this way with disturbing regularity: filled with confusing emotions that were upsetting me. I didn't recognize that many of those feelings weren't even mine. Why did it take me so long to figure this out? Why don't diet books or courses teach us about how taking on other people's "stuff" affects us? In our culture, we don't talk much about empathy, so when you're sitting there feeling guilty for downing a huge portion of junk food, you're not likely to think about this whole "empathy" and "sensitivity" thing. But ah, if you did, what you would learn!
What It's Like to Be Deeply Empathetic
Empathy is much underrated. From childhood, we learn that brute strength, toughness, and smarts are what we need to succeed and be happy in life. We rarely celebrate sensitivity, or the beauty of caring deeply. Too often, sensitivity is seen as a weakness, something to be ashamed of (and more so for men than for women, which is why sensitive men have it especially rough).
But being empathetic--feeling others' emotions as your own--can give you a deeper understanding of others and greater compassion. If you're highly sensitive and empathetic, your friends probably would say you're the one person they can always count on to know they're sad when they're pretending everything is okay. You can probably sense feelings others don't pick up on. That sensitivity enables you to "read" situations very well and respond accordingly. Your actions and decisions take into account the hidden reality of people's emotions. You might find that people seem instinctively drawn to you, and random strangers may even tell you their troubles. I have a friend who is hopeless at directions, but whenever she's in New York, strangers push their way through crowds to ask her to point them to Broadway. She just gives off an approachable and kind energy-and then she has to admit that she has no idea whether she and the stranger are facing north, south, east, or west.
About the Author
COLETTE BARON-REID is an internationally renowned intuitive counselor, life coach, and author. Through a 22-year practice, she has advised over 34,000 clients in 29 countries and for three years toured as the opening speaker with Hay House. Colette's Master Intuitive Coach Institute certifies others in her transformational coaching techniques. "The Colette Baron-Reid Show" airs twice weekly on CBS-owned New Sky Radio and she has appeared on The Dr. Phil Show, "Oprah and Friends" with Dr. Oz and "Coast To Coast," among others.
Most helpful customer reviews
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
Incomparable Resource for Breaking the Emotional Eating Cycle
By SV
Truly one of the most influential books on emotional eating that I have read. Filled with writing exercises, meditations, and simple ways to increase mindfulness, this resource was the first step in my journey toward regaining control over my eating and regaining control over my health. It allowed me to take my awareness deeper toward understanding the root of my emotional eating, and provided me with lifelong tools that I continue to use almost a year later. I'm so thankful to have found this incredible book and continuously recommend it to family and friends who are seeking to break free from their dependence on food. Highly, highly recommended!
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
The Best Weight Loss Book Ever
By A. M. Bartolotti
For those of you who have read my other reviews, I have been harsh (and deservedly so) on other weight loss books. But this one is so good I now own the Kindle Edition and the Audiobook. Colette Baron-Reid explains that she is a member of a variety of 12-step programs, and is able to capture her wisdom in a relatable, comforting and simplified manner. Her program for weight loss is very comprehensive and combines emotional, physical, spiritual and metaphysical elements into a way of life that is practical and effective. Yet she never tries to force any of her beliefs on anyone, instead telling the audience what she has learned and what works for her. However, this is not just a book to be read, but a program that requires action and work on your part. You will get as much out of it as how much you put into it.
33 of 35 people found the following review helpful.
A "Must Have" for Understanding the Emotional Connection
By Bill Cashell
If you are a fan of Colette Baron-Reid, you will probably enjoy this book even if you don't have weight issues. If you are not familiar with her, she is a gifted intuitive counselor (she does not like the term medium) who has appeared on Dr. Phil and written other books on intuition. I am probably a bit biased, having attended her live workshops. I was expecting this to be good because I enjoyed The Map and Remembering the Future: The Path to Recovering Intuition.
Her knowledge of this subject is first hand, having gained 70 pounds in 3 months when her mother died. I could relate to her experience, having done the same thing when my son died. Over the years she tried everything from dieting to overeaters anonymous, but it was only when she linked clairsentience, or "feeling too much" with food and weight that she was able to drop the extra pounds, stop dieting, and find peace with this.
So, what exactly does it mean to "feel too much"? Some people are very empathic, and they tend to pick up the feelings of others around them. When the other people are carrying negative feelings, you can pick up the negative energy and become emotionally (and physically) overloaded. I think everyone has experienced how a negative person can bring you down.
The book is based on her highly successful program that she has conducted live and online. The book, like her program is very interactive with questionnaires, visualizations, and suggestions for understanding your emotions. There are also techniques like EFT and journaling, with personal stories and examples of clients she has helped. The writing style is an interesting mix of all of these together, which keeps it from seeming like a work book and makes it more personal.
At first glance, this may seem a bit far out for some people. It is really much more conventional than I had expected, with sound advice on eating and managing your feelings. If you are open to new ideas and exploring your emotions, I highly recommend getting this book. It is much more than eating, it is also about happiness.
Bill Cashell - Author of "The Emotional Diet"
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